The Love That Never Was
by MayoParfait
Summary: Allen had been dating Kanda for quite a few years. Until one day,Allen had noticed that their bonds weren't as strong as before thus making their relationship becoming strained. Kanda had done something unforgivable which had left a broken-hearted Allen.


Allen stared at the two figures standing a few feet away from him. He had denied this for so long that it started to hurt.

'No..Kanda wouldn't..'.

He had noticed it since the beginning of the month,when their relationship was starting to get strained.

They have not been talking much,more like Kanda had been avoiding the whitehead. Allen had noticed this,he wasn't as clueless and oblivious as everyone thought he was. But despite that,Allen had let it be.

The number of times Allen got to see Kanda were so little he could count with only a hand. As time flew by,Allen could no longer feel the connection he once had with Kanda. He was worried that their relationship would come to an end. He didn't want that,for his heart was still with Kanda but he wondered if the swordsman had felt the same.

Lavi,being the observant one,had confronted Allen. Allen was reluctant to tell him at first,but he just couldn't bear the pain anymore. Normally,he would go to Lenalee first but she had also been acting distant. Allen had a sinking feeling when he started to piece everything together,but he can't doubt his friends.

That's what friends are for...right?

After pouring out everything to the redhead,he was already bawling his eyes out. It didn't help when Lavi had brought him into a hug.

How long had he craved for this warm and gentle hug?

How long had he wanted to cry his heart out into a certain someone's shoulder?

How long had he wanted that certain someone to whisper soothing words to him?

It had been nothing but despair for Allen as he quietly wishes for this to happen.

And it did. But with a different person.

"Allen.. Please don't cry.. I'm here for you. I'm sure Yuu wouldn't do something as low as that".

Allen had smiled weakly at Lavi,who winced in return.

Had his smile been so fake that the Master of Fake Smiles winced?

"Thank you,Lavi..".

Allen was really grateful. Grateful that he had a friend like Lavi who would listen to all of his troubles and give advices when he is lost.

Taking Lavi's advice to consideration,he had wanted to invite Kanda to a dinner with him. It could be counted as a date as well. Allen had felt giddy and couldn't calm down.

When was the last time he had talked to Kanda? He himself couldn't remember.

A flat out "No" was the answer from Kanda.

Allen stared at his 'lover' and had asked why.

"I'm busy with work. See you later".

For whatever reasons,it seems that Kanda was lying just to avoid spending time with Allen.

'No.. Maybe he really is busy? Yeah. That's it!',Allen told himself but somehow,he felt sad.

Enough of getting rid of this feelings of his. He was going to prove that Kanda was not cheating on him once and for all.

And thus leads to the current situation.

Standing a few metres away from him was none other than Kanda and Lenalee.

At first,Allen didn't think much about it,thinking that maybe they were discussing about work but his thoughts were sent throwing out the window when he saw Lenalee locked lips with Kanda.

The only thing Allen had felt right now was sorrow.

Had Allen been not enough for him?

Had Allen care so little to him that he'd cheat on him?

Was the love Allen gave to Kanda not enough?

Allen turned on his heels and ran away. Tears started falling from his eyes.

While running aimlessly,he had bumped into someone.

He muttered a low 'Sorry' and was about to run again until a hand shot up to grab him.

"L-Lavi?".

"Allen. What happened?".

The whitehead tried to pry his hands off of Lavi's tight grip but failed to do so.

"Allen!".

Lavi brought Allen into a tight embrace and Allen stopped struggling.

"Allen.. I'm here for you.. Tell me what happened..".

Allen's eyes went wide and tears started flowing again.

"Lavi.. Am I not good enough for him?".

It was then Allen had felt the surrounding temperature dropped a few degrees.

"What do you mean? Does that mean it's true? That Yuu had been cheating on you?".

The sudden stiffness of Allen's body was more than enough to answer the question.

Allen slowly brought his head up to meet with Lavi's eyes and was shocked to the core.

Never had he saw the redhead's eye turned so cold.

"La..vi?".

The said male released a sigh and continued hugging Allen.

"Let's bring you home.. You need some rest..".

Allen nodded weakly and allowed himself to be guided by his bestfriend.

Lavi had drove Allen safely back home. He had also escorted Allen into the house. Before the whitehead stepped inside,he turned around to hug Lavi.

"Thank you..".

Lavi,who was shocked,let a smile crawl up his face as he ruffled the teen's snowy,white hair affectionally.

Once Allen had went in,Lavi's mood turned a complete 360 and his normally cheerful face was replaced with a scowl.

He entered his car and drove to a certain destination he had in mind.

"He would probably be there".

He stopped at a cafe shop and stepped out of the car when he saw who he was looking for.

Slow,steady steps soon turn into fast ones. He lifted up his fist and it collided successfully with the raven haired male.

"What the fuck?!",Kanda yelled in surprise as he touches his stinging cheek.

Lenalee stared at the scene with wide eyes. It had happened so fast that she could merely gape.

"L-Lavi! What was all of that about?!".

Instead of receiving an answer like she expected it would be,she got a deathly glare instead.

Lenalee was frozen in shock. No.. Shock wasn't the right word. Fear was more befitting.

"So.. It's you..",Lavi muttered in a low tone.

"L-L-Lavi?".

She was scared. She had never seen Lavi act like this before and certainly wouldn't ever want to again.

"What the fuck is your problem you Idiot Rabbit?!".

Lavi brought back his attention to Kanda. He then grabbed Kanda's front shirt and the glare intensified.

"Listen here. I know you are a bastard and all but you need to know where to draw the line. If I ever catch you make him cry again,I swear,I will personally make your life hell".

With that,Lavi released Kanda and shoved him harshly. Lenalee tried to approach Lavi,probably wanting to ask him what was wrong but stopped in her tracks when the glare Lavi had was directed back at her.

"And you. I never thought you were someone like that. I must have thought of you too highly. Lenalee,you really disappoint me".

And with that,Lavi left the both of them bewildered.

Back in Allen's house,everything was calm and quiet. Allen had went to his bedroom and laid on the bed. He looked at the ceiling with glassy grey eyes and he recalled what had happened earlier today.

'Kanda..',Allen thought silently as he bursts into tears once again. Lavi comforting him had helped,but only a bit. This was the type of things he needed to figure out by himself.

After calming down the raging emotions swelling inside of him,his weeps softened and regained a normal breathing pace. He had felt his eyes became droopy and submitted himself to the darkness.

Today was one of the very few and rare times Allen Walker had cried himself to sleep.

When Allen had woken up,he felt like shit. Remembering the events that took place the day before made his heart ache. He got up from his bed and got ready. Despite the things that had happened,he couldn't skip school no matter how badly he wanted to.

Days passed and there were no signs of Kanda or Lenalee at all. Allen didn't know whether to feel relieve or sad. He brushed off the depressing thoughts when he had heard an ever familiar voice called out to him.

"Allen!~".

Lavi had practically thrown himself towards Allen and both of them went tumbling down.

"Lavi!".

The said male gave a charming smile and was returned with a gentle smile.

"Good morning,Allen!~".

"Good morning,Lavi. Now,would you mind getting off me? You're kind of heavy..".

Lavi laughed sheepishly as he helped the Brit to get up.

"So.. How was your day?".

Allen looked at Lavi who was looking at him intensely and raised a delicate brow.

"...Fine I guess? Is something the matter?".

"Nope. Everything is just fine".

"If you say so..".

Both of them made their ways to class,which they probably won't pay attention to anyway.

Lavi had offered to bring the whitehead home but was politely refused by the latter,saying that he had troubled him enough.

Reluctantly,Lavi drove back home with the insistence of Allen.

The walk back was quiet and almost soothing. The cool wind brushing up against Allen's lithe form,making his snowy,white hair dance gracefully with the wind. Allen tugged on his coat tighter to him to prevent the cool air from getting in. He didn't want to get sick now.

Once he had reached his house,he went in with a sigh. Normally,it would be Kanda waiting for his return and would hit him if he had come home a little late but that was in the past. Allen had a sneaky feeling where the raven haired man might be but he immediately chase away those thoughts.

"I'm back..",he said to no one in particular. He wasn't expecting a replt though.

"Tch.. What took you so long?".

Allen stared at Kanda with disbelieving eyes as he struggled for words.

'His face.. Did he get into a fight?'. Allen dare not to ask.

"K-Kanda? W-Why are you here?".

Kanda released a sigh and reduced the distance he had between him and Allen. Every step Kanda took forward,Allen took a step backwords.

"I need to discuss something with you".

'Oh no.. Please don't let it be it..',Allen begged in his mind. He did not like how this was going. If he was right,Allen wouldn't know what he would do.

"What is it about?".

Allen was nervous. His palms became sweaty and was actually fidgeting.

"Let's end this".

Hearing that,Allen felt his heart crack.

"W-What do you mean?".

Oh,he knew what he meant. But he didn't want it to be true.

"Face it. This relationship of ours was quite...amusing in the beginning but it's time to stop this".

Allen did not answer.

'Why.. Kanda,why.. Do I mean so little to you?'.

"Is that all?",Allen bit back a sob. He wanted to cry so badly but he had to keep his cool. At least until Kanda had left.

"Yes. Then,I'm leaving".

After hearing the door shut,Allen fell on his knees. His hands covered his face and tears were dripping.

Coincidentally,Lavi had arrived just when Kanda had left. He knocked on the door with a smile.

"Allen~ I brought over some donuts! Let's share it".

Lavi had wait for the door to open but it didn't. He leaned on the door,pressing his ear on it,and heard sobs. Feeling worried,he immediately opened the door and felt his heart had dropped.

"La..vi..?".

Allen looked so broken. His disheveled hair and the haunted look on his pale face made him look like a fragile,porcelain doll.

In a blink of an eye,Lavi was already right by Allen's side.

"Allen! What's wrong?!",Lavi could barely keep his voice in check. Worried completely plastered on his face as he grabbed Allen by the shoulder.

Allen however did not say anything. He needed a shoulder be could cry on. Preferbably now,but would Lavi allow that?

Lavi gently pull Allen's head to his wide shoulder and carressed the boy in a loving way.

"Allen.. I have repeated this many times and I won't stop until you truly understand it. I'm here for you".

The hidden message got through and Allen had cried the hardest he had ever cried since Mana's death.

"I don't understand! Did I do something wrong? Why am I always the one who gets left behind? Maybe it's just as they say.. I'm cursed and could never find happiness. Tell me,Lavi.. What should I do now?",Allen said in between sobs.

Lavi pulled back from the hug to look at Allen in the face. He stared at him with an unreadable expression as he gently wiped off the tears from the corners of Allen's puffy eyes.

"Allen.. I'm sorry to say this but,I don't know what you should do from now on. But one thing's for sure,you are not at fault. Not at all. Kanda,that bastard,doesn't deserve you at all. You are too nice and he took advantage of that. You deserved more".

For some reason,Allen could see pain and sorrow flashing in the emerald eye.

With the tears finally slowing down,Allen brought up his hand to touch Lavi's cheek.

"Why is it that whenever I feel down,you were always the one who comforts me? You were always by my side.. I can't help but to think 'why?'. You shouldn't be spending too much time caring for a nobody like me,Lavi.. You should focus on what's more important to you".

The smile on Allen's face was filled with so many emotions that words cannot describe. But Lavi could make out most of it.

Sadness.

Frustration.

Given up.

"Allen,please don't degrade yourself. You are much more better than that and much more important to me than my future".

"But why?! Why care so much for me?!".

"Because I love you".

The words that escaped Lavi's lips sent Allen into a state of shock.

'Lavi...loves me?'.

"Wh..What?".

Lavi smiled lovingly.

"I have loved you from the very beginning I had first lay my eye on you. That's why when you chose Kanda,I was very upset. I figured that I should let you find your own happiness. But when the problem between you and Kanda arrised,I was pissed. Believe me when I tell you that. If you can't believe me,you can take a look at his face. I slug him right there yesterday".

"T-That was you?".

Lavi smiled cheerfully,albeit too cheerful,and winked at Allen.

"You bet!".

This had gotten a chuckle out from Allen and Lavi stared at him with a fond eye.

"Now that you know,what would you do? If you can't reciprocate my feelings,you can just forget today had ever happened and we can return to be best buds. Or,you can..uhm..you know..start dating me? I know it's a little rushed and all b-",Lavi was cut off by Allen when the latter had placed a finger in front of the redhead's lips.

Allen's eyes softened and seemed to be glistening due to the immense crying from earlier.

"Lavi.. Although I'm not sure about my feelings right now,they are quite distorted for the time being,I think I'll give it a shot. Just..not now. I may not be able to forget Kanda in just a short period of time but if you give me some time to think through things,I think it'll work out just fine".

Lavi was quite relieved at the fact that he wasn't rejected but was a bit sad that he wasn't accept either. But Allen said to give him some time. He still had a chance. And besides,Allen is currently not in the best condition for the time being.

"Thank you..".

"No,thank you Lavi. You were there when I needed someone the most. For that,you have my gratitude".

Allen flashed a sweet smile which made Lavi feel butterflies in his stomach.

Doing what his instincts is telling him to,Lavi inched closer to Allen's face. Before Allen could register to what Lavi is about to do,he felt the redhead's lips on his.

Allen could push him away or ask for him to stop but he didn't.

With Lavi's lips still on his,he closed his eyes to savour the moment.

'This is nice..'.

 **Hello there. It's been quite a while since I had last logged on here. School is being a drag so I can't do much about it. Recently,my friend had introduced to me -Man and I love it to bits! Allen is just so cute I wish I could hug him! When I started watching the first episode,I couldn't stop. Now,I'm planning to watch -Man Hallow since I've just finished watching the old series yesterday. I hope it won't let me down though.. ^^ Anyway,back to the story. As always,the characters are OOC (I think?) and the plot kind of sucks.. I think.. My grammar sucks as well so please do point out any mistakes I have done. Thank you for reading~**

 **(I may or may not write a second chapter.)**


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